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Spoiler: Still on Hiatus

4/14/2025

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Since our last post, Sarah's mother has passed away. She was a great help in getting the press started; she purchased software for us (when you could still own Adobe instead of renting it) and bought copies to show friends. She was a strong supporter of Monstermatt's and Alex Azar's work in particular.
Between Mother's final illness and funeral arrangements, we've been very busy. Due to the hurricanes, getting a new place to live, and the family issues, we filed for an extension on our taxes. 
We have been holding on to the place in Florida while Mother was ill, but the move is about to shift into high gear. Outside of Sleuthfest, where Gwen will be a panelist, and some in-person events, our schedule is open for relocation.
The press is still on hiatus. Despite stating in several places that we are closed to submissions, we're still getting the occasional novel sub and a number of offers to do book covers and translate our works into other languages. Go figure.
We're unsure where things will go with the press at this point. We do love our authors, though, and wish them the best.
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One-Two Punch: Ha!-Ha! Horror for the Taking

12/3/2020

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We're making another of our books FREE ON KINDLE from December 3rd through December 7th, courtesy of another generous author. Monstermatt Patterson is offering free downloads of his new book to make the holidays better. Hear it right from the punmaster himself, below!
Download your copy of the Ha!-Ha! Horror! Collector's Edition today!
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Presenting: Ha-Ha! Horror, Collector's Edition

7/25/2020

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Something for every horror movie fan. Guaranteed to make you shiver, chuckle and guffaw!"
- Adrian Halen, HorrorNews.Net
He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
​
​Monstermatt Patterson is the wizard of bad monster jokes. His catalogic command of horror film knowledge is only equaled by his terrifying talent for creating and illustrating bad puns. 

His Ha!-Ha! Horror series was born out of the best and worst of the horror genre. This Collector's Edition is the ultimate guide to his twisted sense of humor, adding fresh jokes and additional art to the original tome.

Contains:
  • New art, including many masterpieces in glorious gory color!
  • Sinister songs!
  • PAPER DOLLS!
  • and 2700+ bad monster jokes!

There is a stomach-churning plethora of bad puns that will make you groan, and laugh, and wonder how anyone could know this much about horror. If you like listening to Monstermatt's "Monster Minute" on Six Foot Plus, you will love this book.

The book will delight his fans but be warned: his humor is not for those who love subtle comedy. His jokes will bring tears to your eyes. The uninitiated might want to take them in small doses until they build up a tolerance to the world's worst puns.

Now available in print and Kindle for classic (and obscure) horror fans everywhere, but right now, we're offering a giveaway for one free print copy of Ha-Ha! Horror, Collector's Edition, to one (un?)lucky horror fan! Enter the Rafflecopter drawing for your chance to win!
The puns. Good lord, there are so many puns."
​- Hatbox, Gores Truly
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a Rafflecopter giveaway
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Bride of Ha-Ha! Horror: Now on sale!

10/24/2015

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"Laughter is infectious so don't worry, there's no contagions in this book! Monstermatt should give out a bottle of Pepto with each book! These jokes make my stomach hurt!"
Greg Petaloudis,
Diabolique Magazine
He's baaaaaaaack! Monstermatt Patterson is the wizard of bad monster jokes. In his first joke book, Ha-Ha! Horror, he made us groan with his horrible puns and twisted sense of humor. Now he is back with more...more art, more monster minutes, and yes...more rancid rhymes. If you survived the first book, we dare you to attempt another.

Now available in print - ebook to follow!
"Watch out for The Creature, and Monstermatt's terrible jokes!"
Julie Adams, Creature from the Black Lagoon

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Stand By for Our Transmission...

5/13/2015

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Why would bats need space helmets? Only cover artist Monstermatt Patterson knows... for now.

Stay tuned for the reveal of an unannounced anthology, one that exists because there was just too much insanity for one book to contain!

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Ha-Ha! Horror takes Gold in Humor at FAPA

8/12/2014

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We are disgustingly pleased to announce that Ha-Ha! Horror, the first single-author collection we published, won in the Humor category at the President's Awards banquet for the Florida Authors & Publishers Association.

Did we know we had a winner? Yes, we did, because we were familiar with Monstermatt's work before the MAHLLC bat was even born. We knew he was talented, he was funny, and he would work like a demon to get things right. All we needed to do was present his art and (admittedly godawful) jokes in the best format possible.

We are so very, very proud of you, Matt. Thanks for publishing with us.

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Image from the awards ceremony.
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Updates

4/5/2014

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We are pleased to announce that we have drawn the winners for the free copies of Ha-Ha! Horror. One will be sent to Germany, the other to Florida. Oddly enough, the Florida fan was drawn by Monstermatt. Go figure...

Both winners have been notified and Monstermatt has their addresses. Congratulations!

In other news: since we became listed at Duotrope, we've received a number of novel submissions. This is great, but we're also plowing through subs for three different open anthologies at the moment. So.... we will close for novel subs on April 30th, Walpurgisnacht. We want the time to give our current novel subs a decent lookover.

IF WE ASKED YOU TO SEND US A FULL, we still want it. If you've subbed but haven't heard back yet, you are in the queue. Doesn't that sound British of us?

DON'T STOP SENDING US SHORT STORIES. We especially need more subs for History and Horror, Oh My! and History and Mystery, Oh My! We only opened for those last month.

Got it? Thanks!
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Monstermatt Patterson: The Interview

11/29/2013

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We hope our American readers had a happy Fangs-giving! And in that vein of humor, we introduce you to Monstermatt Patterson.

Monstermatt narrates 'The Monster Minute' on the 6 Foot Plus podcast, which is either the best or worst minute of the show. He's an artist, a painter, and the wizard of bad monster jokes. His catalogic command of horror film knowledge is only equaled by his terrifying talent for creating and illustrating bad puns. 

We at MAHLLC are proud to have him as our first book-length author. If you love monsters, puns, or bad jokes, we urge you to consider Ha-Ha! Horror, written and illustrated by Monstermatt and available at Amazon. Learn more about the man himself now:

Q. I must ask: what started you down this dark, twisted road?

I used to watch late night horror films with our aunt, my mom and my sisters, while my father's band was playing gigs. The first one I can actually recall, is Horror of Dracula.  I had always wanted to create something in the genre, but never really had the chance until rotator cuff surgery. Longgg story! Until then, it was enjoying the work of others. I devoured horror films, comics, magazines, records, etc.
Since then, I've had the opportunity to be involved horror films, both on camera or behind. Among other things.

Q. Tell us more about 6 Foot Plus and the Monster Minute.

6 Foot Plus recruited me to do my shtick, and it's been the most pleasant experience! I try to write at least 5 jokes per show, give or take. Strange Jason, the host, gave me free reign to utilize the platform and format as I saw fit.
Sometimes, I do 3 or 4 different voice characters in an episode.

Q. Which monster is your favorite?

Frankenstein. Specifically, Boris Karloff, in Son of Frankenstein. No matter what the camera angle or scene, he's physically filled out, and looks truly powerful. Not that his previous stints as the monster were bad or anything. It's a great trilogy!

Q. Can you tell us a little about your creative process? Do you lock yourself in an attic with a paintbrush and a razor? Read entrails?

Ugh, now that's twisted! Actually, when I return to the crypt from my day job, I find the need to create late at night. It's been that way for 3 years, now. I paint, sculpt, draw, write, while listening to classical music, orchestral movie scores, and jazz, like Ella Fitzgerald -with Louis Armstrong, etc.

Q. What do you do when you're not creating horrible puns?

Actually, no matter what I'm doing in the course of the day, I always have pieces of jokes swirling in my head.
There's something cooking, 24/7!

Q. What would you like to learn to do that you haven’t?

Too many things to list!
I'll get to most of them. Next week, I hope to  learn putting the lid back on the mustard jar. It's gonna be tough!


Q. If you had to choose, who would you consider a mentor and how is that reflected in your work?

Too tough! I plead the fifth...of Jack Daniels! I mean, I don't know that I can narrow that down.

Humor:
Mad Magazine had such an influence on me, since forever! Cracked Magazine, monster specials. Benny Hill, and other television comedians, too. That's just a small sample. But, to explain, there's just something about the science and mechanics of comedy, that speak to me. I totally get, the need for timing, banter, establishing a rhythm, everything. I've been corny and sarcastic forever, so I'm doing what should come naturally.

Horror:
Jack Pierce, Don Post, Lon Chaney Sr., Frank Frazetta, Basil Gogos and more. There's something truly fulfilling to bring something to life, from a piece of clay or empty canvas.
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A man who loves Ella Fitzgerald, Mad Magazine, and Benny Hill? Swoon!

Check out Ha-Ha! Horror at Amazon. The preview function for the ebook will give you a sample of Monstermatt's artwork and his groan-inducing jokes.

By the way, the jokes are all clean, so this book is suitable for gift-giving to any horror film aficionado. I've also been told it makes an excellent book to keep in the bathroom... at least until you read the Street Trash chapter.

Enjoy the rest of your horror-days!

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Cover Reveal: Ha-Ha! Horror

10/1/2013

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Ha-Ha! Horror from Monstermatt Patterson
"I laughed, I groaned, I shook my head in disbelief....Ha-Ha! Horror will bring a grin to the faces of adults and kids alike..."  

--Colleen Wanglund, Monster Librarian

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Here's your first taste of Ha-Ha! Horror from the masterful Monstermatt Patterson.

Who is Monstermatt? He's a horror artist and illustrator who does monster portraits and masks, and a nominee for Best Painter in the Artvoice 2013 Best of Buffalo Awards. He narrates 'The Monster Minute' on the 6' Plus podcast, which is either the best or worst minute of the show. He is the wizard of bad monster jokes, and will soon be sharing them with you. 
 
Ha-Ha! Horror will soon be available from Mystery and Horror, LLC.

Monstermatt's blogs are at:

http://hahahorror.gravediggerslocal.com/ (you can see some of his material there)
http://monstermattpatterson.wordpress.com/

The 6' + podcasts:
http://6ftplus.gravediggerslocal.com/

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Our new logo!

3/4/2013

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Courtesy of Monstermatt Patterson, we now have our official logo! Well, the editing staff is a little batty...

With the submissions we're getting, it's going to be put to use very soon!

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