When she reads a good story, my cohort at MAHLLC usually tells me that I should take a look at it. When she read "Bedroom Bureau", though, Gwen told me I should go ahead and send a contract. I did read it, of course, and I saw what she meant. Today, we interview its author, Gwendolyn Kiste. How did you come up with the idea for your story in Strangely Funny II? Just before writing “Bedroom Bureau”, I had watched “The Sentinel”, a 1970s film about a portal to hell. It’s an underrated horror classic, but it’s also very dark. I thought it might be fun to take a similar premise, but inject humor and levity—including a whole lot of silly bureaucracy—to demons arriving in the human realm. Evil spirits aren’t usually sporting passports and making appointments, so the absurdity of the concept appealed to me. Plotter or pantser? I’d like to say plotter all the way, but if I’m being completely honest, my writing incorporates a bit of both. Plotting does help to keep me focused, but I enjoy the spontaneity from just writing on the fly and seeing where it goes. Which author do you most admire, and why? Shirley Jackson. Her ability to perceive darkness in the mundane of everyday life was so astute and ahead of her time. Plus, her language and characters are so richly imagined. I return to “We Have Always Lived in the Castle” again and again just to visit the Blackwood estate. Though there’s nothing overtly supernatural at play, it’s the most darkly magical novel I’ve ever read. I want a best friend like Merricat (though I’d be careful never to take sugar in my tea). Also, if you look into Shirley Jackson’s life, she had to deal with a lot of adversity in her family’s hometown, including injustice not so dissimilar from the townspeople in “The Lottery”. It’s always inspiring to see writers transform their personal hardships into indelible stories. Which place that you haven’t visited would you most like to go? Loch Ness. Although I doubt Nessie would make an appearance, it would be fun to have a picnic there and just watch. You never know! I could get an awesome blurry image! Okay, so you're an author. What do you enjoy reading? Twentieth century horror stories are my favorites. Ray Bradbury, Richard Matheson, and, of course, Shirley Jackson inspire me every single day. Thanks for talking with us! With parents who married on Halloween and read her Bradbury stories long before she started kindergarten, Gwendolyn Kiste considers horror, fantasy, and all things strange to be her birthright. Her genre editorials appear regularly on sites such as Horror-Movies.ca and Micro-Shock, and she is the resident “weird wanderer” for the travel-centric Wanderlust and Lipstick. With a background in cinema and theatre, she has written and directed several feature-length and short horror films, and her plays have been produced as part of the Big Read, a program of the National Endowment for the Arts. An Ohio native, she currently resides in the wilds of Pennsylvania with her husband, Bill, and cat, McQueen. Check out Gwendolyn's story for yourself in Strangely Funny II, plus twenty other hilarious stories! Strangely Funny II is now available in print and Kindle formats on Amazon, plus several other e-book formats on Smashwords! We're also giving away three copies on Goodreads - deadline is August 31st!
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We are disgustingly pleased to announce that Ha-Ha! Horror, the first single-author collection we published, won in the Humor category at the President's Awards banquet for the Florida Authors & Publishers Association. Did we know we had a winner? Yes, we did, because we were familiar with Monstermatt's work before the MAHLLC bat was even born. We knew he was talented, he was funny, and he would work like a demon to get things right. All we needed to do was present his art and (admittedly godawful) jokes in the best format possible. We are so very, very proud of you, Matt. Thanks for publishing with us. Instead of an interview with a Strangely Funny II author today, we thought you'd like something a little different: a taste from the book itself! Our featured author today is Columbkill Noonan, who has an M.S. in Biology and teaches Anatomy and Physiology at a university in Maryland. An avid history buff, much of her writing, which could be best described as “supernatural historical horror”, combines historical events with elements of paranormal fantasy. In the excerpt below, young Anfernee Antonius Abercroft III is a new ghost who desperately wants his body to be found so he can travel to the Other Side. Unfortunately, each ghost only gets one power, and our hapless haunt's power is the ability to say "Groch" aloud. He's about to learn the disadvantages of dying at a Catholic school. From "The Ghost of Our Lady of Peace", by Columbkill Noonan: He stuck his face right up against Sister Agnes’ ear, and yelled, “Groooooooooch-ahhhhhch-ahhhch!” as loud as he could, just as several other nuns entered the office through the front door. Sister Agnes jumped, then fainted dead away onto the ground. The other nuns screamed, and clung together like frightened hens. Father Marion, eyes wide, pulled himself together and went to stand over Sister Agnes. He waved his hand in front of her face, and shook her by her shoulders. “Urk”, said Sister Agnes. Opening her eyes and sitting up, she shook her head groggily, then gripped Father Marion’s hassock. “A demon, Father Marion! You heard it too, didn’t you?” “I heard it!” chimed in one of the nuns by the door. “Me too!” echoed the rest. “Indeed, I heard it too!” said Father Marion. “A voice most evil and foul!” He whipped out his crucifix, and wielded it aggressively in front of himself. “I exorcise thee!” he shouted. Anfernee, stunned at this unexpected turn of events, and quite insulted at being called evil and foul, stood there uncertainly. “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiriti Sancti, I compel thee. Begone!” As the priest spoke, a wind began to dance about Anfernee. A mere tickle at first, it built in strength until at last, when the priest cried, “Begone!” the wind became so strong that, with a mighty blast, it blew Anfernee right through the door. He landed in a heap in the corridor, and looked up to see Spencer standing over him, shaking his head in amusement. “Groch!” Anfernee cried, and rushed towards the office door, thinking to try talking to them again, to make the nuns and the priest see who he really was. But the door repelled him like the wrong sides of two magnets, and he bounced backwards to fall ignominiously again and again. He screamed in frustration, and beat his fists in futility upon the floor. “Ah, brother,” said Spencer sympathetically. “Your first exorcism! And it was a fine one, too. Quite dramatic!” Spencer began to giggle. “And I must say, you looked quite funny, flying through the door like that, your face all surprised and such.” “But why can’t I go back in?” wailed Anfernee. “I need to talk to them!” Spencer clucked, shaking his head. “Yeah, you gotta be careful with that. Once you get exorcised from a place you can’t ever go back. You get exorcised from enough places in here, you’ll end up like poor old Harry.” “Why, who’s Harry?” asked Anfernee. “Well, he got exorcised one too many times and now he can’t go anywhere. He’s stuck in a locker on the third floor. Got exorcised from the hallway up there, and had nowhere to go but into that damned locker. Now he’s just trapped in there. Can’t do a thing about it. It’s even more terrible because his ghost power is to open drapes. There aren’t any drapes in that locker, let me tell you,” said Spencer, shaking his head ruefully.
Jason Norton is a lifelong fan of comic books, sci-fi and monster-under-your-bed stories. He is a certified personal trainer and massage therapist. When he’s not playing volleyball, he studies wilderness survival skills. Honest. Not even he could make that up. Jason and his wife live in Powhatan, Virginia. He has a son, two cats and two dogs. He prefers the son. His contribution to Strangely Funny II was "Seven Minutes", a tale of young people living in that idyllic time of good music and nutritious food... the Seventies. The story reminded of my own youth, except for the ending. Then again, no one invited me to play Spin the Bottle. I didn't realize there was a low survival rate. When did you know you wanted to become a writer? I've wanted to write ever since I was a kid, but I never pursued it seriously until 2012 (save for some incomplete comic book scripts). When I was six, I wrote a story called "Murder at the Mausoleum" or something to that effect--it was way too macabre for a kid that age, whatever the case. I folded up sheets of white paper and wrote and illustrated the whole thing in pencil. Sadly, it never became a best-seller. Later, one of my friends and I created fictional lab reports about cryptids and unexplained phenomena. Incidentally, I don't think I got a date till my senior year of high school. How did you pick the genre/setting/era you (usually) write in? I am the product of comic book literacy; I'll never be accused of aping Shakespeare, that's for sure .I usually write horror; I have always been a fan of EC's Tales from the Crypt comics and love the dark humor and wicked twists those books were famous for. I do a little sci-fi and pulp as well and am currently working on what I hope will be the first in a series of two-fisted pulp stories in the vein of Doc Savage. How did you come up with the idea for your story in Strangely Funny II? I was washing dishes when the first line hit me. I'm not sure why I was thinking about Spin the Bottle--I definitely had no personal frame of reference for seven minutes in heaven. But once I had that first line, it sort of just took off on its own. The story wasn't written specifically for Strangely Funny II--in fact I wrote it months before the call for submissions was even announced--but I felt like this anthology would be the perfect home for it. I got it in just under the deadline and was amazed that it was accepted. Plotter or pantser? A little of both. Sometimes I have a concept and then work around it. Sometimes I've got the whole thing worked out before I ever sit down at the laptop. And a lot of the time, a first line hits me and I have no idea what I'm going to do after that. But if I think that first line is good enough, I'll do everything I can to work it out. Which author do you most admire, and why? Richard Matheson. He could take ten pages, give you the barest bones of description and detail and haunt you for days, weeks--sometimes years afterward. If you don't believe me, just go read "The Edge" in his Steel anthology. Out of respect for potential young readers, I can't write the phrase that came out of my mouth when I finished that story. Thank you for talking with us! Jason's work has appeared at/in Bewildering Stories, Fiction Vortex, Gothic City Press, Daylight Dims, e-Horror, The Horror Zine, Inner Sins, Dark Moon Digest and Pro Se Productions. He currently has stories awaiting publication at Nightmare Illustrated, Horrified Press, and Pro Se Productions. His story "Creeper" is slated to appear in Angelic Knight Press's upcoming Demon Rum and Other Evil Spirits anthology. Jason Andrew's short fiction has appeared in markets such as Shine: An Anthology of Optimistic SF (Harper Collins), Frontier Cthulhu: Ancient Horrors in the New World (Chaosium), and Coins of Chaos (Edge Science Fiction and Fantasy Publishing). In 2011, his story “Moonlight in Scarlet” received an honorable mention in Ellen Datlow’s List for Best Horror of the Year. His most recent project is The Future Embodied: Evolution of the Human Body, a collection that explores how science and technology might alter our bodies in years to come. We host his story, "Victory of the Dark Lord", in Strangely Funny II. It gives the reader a real behind-the-scenes look into the world of sword and sorcery. We would like to give you a behind-the-scenes view of the writer as well. When did you know you wanted to become a writer? There is a legend in my family about that very moment when I was around five years old. I loved to watch the Creature Feature. My grandmother loved Perry Mason. We had a difference of opinion about what to watch on television. She won and so entertained myself by writing a picture story about the werewolf eating Perry Mason and thus canceling the show. It caused a reaction. I never looked back. How did you pick the genre/setting/era you (usually) write in? I tend to wander a lot between genres and settings. I have a special place in my heart for fantasy. I think it was because my first love was The Hobbit. How did you come up with the idea for your story in Strangely Funny II? I always wondered about the secret lives of the comedic sidekick and then a question occurred to me. What if the villain conquered the hero by tricking him into being his best friend? Do you think certain genres lend themselves to a humorous twist? I think you find the funny in things that you love. I tend to write horror so this was a fun twist for me. Plotter or pantser? Typically, I am a plotter, but it is strange to try to plan for humor. Which author do you most admire, and why? Neil Gaiman can do it all and you always know a story he wrote just by the style. Which place that you haven’t visited would you most like to go? I’d love to visit Scotland. One day! Okay, so you're an author. What do you enjoy reading? I read everything from biographies, history books, and novels. I devour anthologies like crazy. Thanks for talking with us! Read "Victory of the Dark Lord" for yourself, along with twenty other amusing tales in Strangely Funny II, now available in print and Kindle on Amazon. It's also available in a wide array of e-book formats on Smashwords. What would a book launch be without some giveaways? We're giving away three print copies of Strangely Funny II on Goodreads! Be sure to sign up before the 31st! Goodreads Book GiveawayStrangely Funny IIby Sarah E. GlennGiveaway ends August 31, 2014. See the giveaway details at Goodreads. But wait, there's more! Right now, we're GIVING AWAY free e-copies of the original Strangely Funny on Smashwords! Go to our Facebook Page at: https://www.facebook.com/MysteryAndHorrorLlc to get the coupon code for your free copy! Can life get any better? Okay, okay, if we had winning lottery numbers it might. But in the meantime, take a fun read instead!
This should get some keyboards out there tapping... the anthology is open for submissions till May 1st.
Our first 2014 anthology, Mardi Gras Murder, is already up at Amazon. Have no fear, authors, we have at least three more planned. The first is Strangely Funny II, this year's collection of humorous paranormal stories. The guidelines are available on our Submissions page, and we hope to have the cover shortly. The other two will be:
In this case, 'historical' means your story should be set in a time at least fifty years ago. You know how they're celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Beatles playing the Ed Sullivan show? Yeah, your story should be set during that time or before. Let us not discuss members of the MAHLLC staff who qualify as historical under these standards... please. Just warm up those keyboards! We hope our American readers had a happy Fangs-giving! And in that vein of humor, we introduce you to Monstermatt Patterson. Monstermatt narrates 'The Monster Minute' on the 6 Foot Plus podcast, which is either the best or worst minute of the show. He's an artist, a painter, and the wizard of bad monster jokes. His catalogic command of horror film knowledge is only equaled by his terrifying talent for creating and illustrating bad puns. We at MAHLLC are proud to have him as our first book-length author. If you love monsters, puns, or bad jokes, we urge you to consider Ha-Ha! Horror, written and illustrated by Monstermatt and available at Amazon. Learn more about the man himself now: Q. I must ask: what started you down this dark, twisted road? I used to watch late night horror films with our aunt, my mom and my sisters, while my father's band was playing gigs. The first one I can actually recall, is Horror of Dracula. I had always wanted to create something in the genre, but never really had the chance until rotator cuff surgery. Longgg story! Until then, it was enjoying the work of others. I devoured horror films, comics, magazines, records, etc. Since then, I've had the opportunity to be involved horror films, both on camera or behind. Among other things. Q. Tell us more about 6 Foot Plus and the Monster Minute. 6 Foot Plus recruited me to do my shtick, and it's been the most pleasant experience! I try to write at least 5 jokes per show, give or take. Strange Jason, the host, gave me free reign to utilize the platform and format as I saw fit. Sometimes, I do 3 or 4 different voice characters in an episode. Q. Which monster is your favorite? Frankenstein. Specifically, Boris Karloff, in Son of Frankenstein. No matter what the camera angle or scene, he's physically filled out, and looks truly powerful. Not that his previous stints as the monster were bad or anything. It's a great trilogy! Q. Can you tell us a little about your creative process? Do you lock yourself in an attic with a paintbrush and a razor? Read entrails? Ugh, now that's twisted! Actually, when I return to the crypt from my day job, I find the need to create late at night. It's been that way for 3 years, now. I paint, sculpt, draw, write, while listening to classical music, orchestral movie scores, and jazz, like Ella Fitzgerald -with Louis Armstrong, etc. Q. What do you do when you're not creating horrible puns? Actually, no matter what I'm doing in the course of the day, I always have pieces of jokes swirling in my head. There's something cooking, 24/7! Q. What would you like to learn to do that you haven’t? Too many things to list! I'll get to most of them. Next week, I hope to learn putting the lid back on the mustard jar. It's gonna be tough! Q. If you had to choose, who would you consider a mentor and how is that reflected in your work? Too tough! I plead the fifth...of Jack Daniels! I mean, I don't know that I can narrow that down. Humor: Mad Magazine had such an influence on me, since forever! Cracked Magazine, monster specials. Benny Hill, and other television comedians, too. That's just a small sample. But, to explain, there's just something about the science and mechanics of comedy, that speak to me. I totally get, the need for timing, banter, establishing a rhythm, everything. I've been corny and sarcastic forever, so I'm doing what should come naturally. Horror: Jack Pierce, Don Post, Lon Chaney Sr., Frank Frazetta, Basil Gogos and more. There's something truly fulfilling to bring something to life, from a piece of clay or empty canvas. A man who loves Ella Fitzgerald, Mad Magazine, and Benny Hill? Swoon! Check out Ha-Ha! Horror at Amazon. The preview function for the ebook will give you a sample of Monstermatt's artwork and his groan-inducing jokes. By the way, the jokes are all clean, so this book is suitable for gift-giving to any horror film aficionado. I've also been told it makes an excellent book to keep in the bathroom... at least until you read the Street Trash chapter. Enjoy the rest of your horror-days! |
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Mystery and Horror, LLC, is an indie press interested in what the name suggests. Contact us at: mysteryandhorrorllc@gmail.com
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